The real skinny on skinny pants

Perhaps, singularly responsible for the revival of the slim pants, Alber Elbaz's Lanvin Spring RTW 2006 featured only two trouser pairs, tapered and cut closer to the leg; in line with the sleek simplicity of his high-platformed collection. The designer - delivering an impressive sartorial minimalism - put forth a collection for the modern, super confident woman - a woman with no need for frills, a woman, assimilated, and yet very much her own person, materializing on other runways the following season. Lithe models pranced off fall 2006 catwalks sporting variations of slimmer pants and the trend's skyrocketed to magnificent proportions!! So while slouchy menswear suit pants commanded attention on runways for this fall, skinny pants are not going anywhere anytime soon. I don't think the trend's even plateaued yet!! Hordes of designers have embraced wholly this fashionable tenet of slimmer pants. (Understatement of the past two seasons, really!!)

I've adored and abhorred this widespread trend pant - my sentiments alternating with the wearer.

Morphed into any of its alter egos (inconceivably tight jean trousers, ankle zipper pants, stretch stirrups?!!), the slim pant is almost guaranteed fab if you are a size negative zero and 5'10. Well, except you happen to be decked in coral quilted stirrups with back pockets (hahahaha), or maybe glaring shiny gold plated robotic pants à la Nicolas Ghesquière (Balenciaga spring RTW2007)!! Pretty artistic and wearable but *WINCE*

And yet, the skinny pant really shouldn't be a trend. If they're cut appropriately (and not too tight), skinny pants could give every gyrl mile long legs!! In addition, there's nothing chicer than a pair of (black) slim ankle-length pants; in my opinion, a glam all-year-round staple. Think Audrey Hepburn circa 1957 (Funny Face), the eponymous pants revived in the Gap ad campaigns last year. Ergo, in any of its manifestions, fashionistas everywhere clamor for these skinnier pants. My somewhat embarrassing truth - I haven't gotten any skinnies yet!

I've always loved the Audrey pants (the requisite black, some grey and denim); of which I've two or three of the same styles/brands. But I haven't ventured into purchasing super skinny pants that I could wear pulled over a pair of 4.5" loubous or scrunched at my ankles. Why?? Given my frenzied love affair with dresses, I just haven't cared about diversifing my pants collection. More truthfully, I'm nervous about finding the absolute divine pair of skinnies. I've absolutely no qualms baring my legs in teeny barely-there dresses, but I dislike the look of my legs in considerably tighter pants than my regular straight/flare trousers!!! Also, I find that in my glorified 5'1, I'm not in much of a hurry to shorten my oh-so-tiny frame with a couple inches of thickening scrunch at my ankles. EWWW. So, while I'm quite likely to indulge in naughty little skivvies, I'm almost intimidated by a pair of skinny jeans. Maybe, the ugly truth is that I'm not much of a fashionista, am I??

But you see, it's a very fine line between elegant chic and gauche sloppy when you decide to wear skinny pants. And if you are not on the slimmer side with a relatively non-existent booty, then the holy trinity of fashionable elegance: appearing leaner, longer and chicer is easily violated with this single article of clothing!! It may not matter that you wear 5" heels, adorn a blouson to balance your top and bottom halves, or add a deep V top to elongate your neck; once you cross that line, the only salvation may be taking the skinnies off!!




Double sugar kisses.